“[This] is true order and simplicity: recognizing my vocation, and where I am in regards to that, and allowing every other detail to fall into place around it.”

Now that we are approaching the end of this series, we are going to consider something that is of profound value to a balanced Catholic lifestyle: the making of a personal “Rule of Life.”

In the context of a religious community, a “rule” is something that is drawn up to provide a clear structure for the apostolate, charism, and daily life of its communities. It is a “plan of life and discipline, approved by the Holy See” that enables them “to grow in Christian perfection and perform the works of the apostolate proper to their institute” (Catholic Culture Dictionary).

Rules make it possible for a community of persons to maintain unity, purpose, harmony, and faithfulness in their pursuit of “the one thing necessary,” Our Lord Jesus Christ.

More recently, laymen have begun to adopt a rule for their own lives in order to guide them in living out their vocation. Holly Pierlot, a Catholic author and speaker, came to see that a personal rule of life was invaluable to her own vocation as a wife and mother. She wrote about her experience in her book A Mother’s Rule of Life:

Found most often in religious community life, a Rule can also be used by laypeople—whose state in life is no less a calling from God. It consists primarily in the examination of one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.

Holly Pierlot

Holly writes that she was intrigued by “the whole notion of a Rule of Life” because it was

“supposed to lead me to holiness…The reasoning is that since our vocation is a specific call from God—a particular mission we have been given on earth—living out this mission is to do God’s will in our lives. To do God’s will because he asks it of us, out of love for him, is to advance on the road to holiness, to seek perfection.”

The Schedule-Aspect of a Rule

A Catholic rule of life is distinct from a regular schedule. In fact:

A Rule of Life is not just a schedule, not just a collection of activities organized into a set pattern for efficient repetition. A Rule is an organization of everything that has to do with your vocation, based on a hierarchy of the priorities that define the vocation and done with the intent to please God. It deals with the essential responsibilities of your state of life, organized to ensure their fulfillment…

Holly Pierlot

Although a rule is more than a schedule, it still includes a schedule, albeit a flexible one that adjusts for valid day-to-day needs. Some of us feel stifled by schedules and choose not to use them. And it is true that different temperaments and personalities have different reactions to a rigid schedule. Some naturally gravitate to them, while others feel restricted. But every person needs a routine, and we follow one, whether we are more spontaneous by nature or not. Schedules can be helpful either way: if we are a schedule-follower by nature, daily life will teach us to allow for a more flexible approach to our timetable. If we are more spontaneous by nature, a schedule calls us to be more organized and responsible in regards to our duties.

In order to help you draw up your own rule, we are going to look first at some examples of a rule in its “schedule-form,” and then share some steps on how to create your own personal rule of life in its entirety.

Examples of A Rule in Its Schedule-Form

Monastic life is the primary model for any rule, so we’ll start by looking at an example of a religious community’s schedule. This is the daily schedule for the Poor Clare Nuns of Perpetual Adoration:

5:25 a.m.      Rise
6:05 a.m.      Divine Office
7:00 a.m.      Mass
8:00 a.m.      Divine Office
8:15 a.m.      Thanksgiving (Silent Prayer)
8:45 a.m.      Breakfast
9:15 a.m.      Work Time
11:30 a.m.    Divine Office & Communal Rosary
12:00 p.m.    Lunch
12:30 p.m.    Free Time
2:00 p.m.      Work Time
3:00 p.m.      Divine Office & Divine Mercy Chaplet
4:00 p.m.      Lesson with Novice Mistress, or Study
4:30 p.m.      Spiritual Reading
5:00 p.m.      Divine Office
5:30 p.m.      Supper & Dishes
6:30 p.m.      Recreation or Choir Practice
8:00 p.m.      Start of Grand Silence throughout the monastery
9:30 p.m.      Retire
10:00 p.m.    Lights Out

Let’s contrast this monastic routine with the weekday schedule prepared by Holly Pierlot, who educates her children at home. Her “rule” includes far more detail, some of which has been removed for the sake of a simpler example:

6:45 a.m.       Rise, feed cats, make coffee, read Scripture.
7:30 a.m.       Children rise, dress, tidy upstairs. We prepare and eat breakfast. Clean kitchen. Put on laundry, change baby, everyone brushes teeth.
9:00 a.m.       Prayertime and schoolwork.
10:15 a.m.     Recess for kids. Coffee break and prayertime for Mom.
10:45 a.m.     Schoolwork.
11:45 a.m.     Kids clean up their assigned rooms, Mom makes lunch, we eat and clean kitchen. Change laundry load.
12:30 p.m.     Quiet reading/playtime for kids. Rosary and spiritual reading for Mom.
1:30 p.m.       Housework or projects, finish homeschooling, appointments, etc.
3:30 p.m.       Recess for children. Coffee break for Mom.
4:00 p.m.       Starting preparing dinner, fold laundry, unload dishwasher. Kids’ free time.
5:15 p.m.       Kids take their laundry upstairs. 5:30 p.m. Dinnertime. After dinner, kids clear table. Dishes.
6:30 p.m.       Free time, then kids take baths and get ready for bed.
7:30 p.m.       Family prayer.
8:00 p.m.       Kids’ bedtime.
10:00 p.m.     Prep for next day. Empty dishwasher. Personal hygiene. Spiritual reading.
10:30 p.m.     Bedtime.

It’s important to note that this example of one mother’s schedule is not held to rigidly. There are times when that is not possible. Sickness, family events, and other things can cause some routine activities to be set aside on behalf of more urgent needs. Holly’s weekend schedule was distinct from her weekday schedule, allowing for more free time and creativity. She reassessed her schedule at the beginning of each school year, to determine what changes needed to be made. For example, as some of her children got older, she adjusted their bedtimes, staggering them for each child.

A layman’s “personal rule of life” is just that: personal. It will be unique to their situation and responsibilities. Someone whose children are grown will have very different duties when contrasted with the parent who has very young children or even compared to the unmarried person.

Now we’ll look at some steps for creating a personal rule of life.

How To Make a Personal Rule of Life

The heart of a rule comes before the creation of the schedule that it results in. Just as each religious order has their own unique charism and apostolate—the particular mission they undertake to serve God—each laymen can prayerfully discern their mission to serve God in accord with their state of life.

As Holly Pierlot writes:

“[T]he spirit of your Rule of Life—its underlying philosophy and goals—is even more important than the practical schedules. In fact, without a spiritual guide, your practical Rule will tend to be more confusing and more difficult to follow…The spirit of your Rule is meant to be a goal…something that you work toward—not something you’ll accomplish perfectly right off the bat…when I find…I have no vigor, I go and reread the spirit of my Rule. I find it helps to pull my often wayward heart back on track, and calls to mind just what I’m supposed to be doing on this earth anyway!”

The spirit of Holly’s rule, which she prayerfully chose, was to seek “Christian perfection within the married vocation, as I repeat with the Blessed Mother: ‘Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to thy word.’”

So the first step to creating your rule is to establish its spirit, grounding it on your calling to obey the laws of God and to become “holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:4). Then write it down. You can print it out and frame it, placing it near a home altar or in a prominent place in your house.

Once you have the spirit of your rule, you are ready to prepare the framework that will guide your schedule:

1. Based on your vocation and state in life (married, single, priest, religious) identify your main responsibilities.

2. Establish priorities and goals, as well as the duties that are a result of your responsibilities.

3. Identify what you need to do and accomplish in the course of a day. It’s good to be detailed here.

4. Decide on a routine, which includes everything you identified in the previous step, including prayertime, sleeping, eating, work, housekeeping, quality time, and so on.

Lastly, we should keep in mind that for married laypersons, it is best to create and commit to a rule together with your spouse. While a husband and wife—as two persons—will obviously have different schedules and slightly different charisms, those commitments ought to work together and compliment each other. For married persons, any work towards improving the life of the family needs to include both spouses to have the greatest chance of success. Creating and adopting a rule of life is no exception.

Conclusion

It takes effort to pray about, prepare, and implement a personal rule of life. Remind yourself that perfection is not expected in a short time. Not even monastic communities expect daily perfection. St. Faustina herself used to make notes in her diary when she did not keep her community’s rule perfectly. If a saint fails to perfectly maintain a rule, we cannot expect to avoid error—and if we do, we might want to check our rule and make sure it truly challenges us to grow in our respective vocations!

“In daily life, try to look at everything from God’s angle. Let the spirit behind your flesh and blood control action, in uprightness of reason and purity of faith…In oneself, there must be a very wide sense of duty, without endeavoring to do over-well—which suggests an element of feverish striving.”

Fr. Raoul Plus

A personal rule of life will contain aspects of everything we have learned about in this series. It will bring everything together into a cohesive whole, and guide us in implementing a life of simplicity.
 

Coming in Day 21 . . .

Conclusion: How to Stay Faithful to Simplicity

Today's Action Item

Make a Personal Rule of Life

Are you going to make a personal rule of life? Begin with prayer. A rule does not have to be created in one day, so don’t feel pressured! Spend time praying about it, and ask Our Lord to guide you in writing down a “spirit of your rule.” Then, with pen and paper or a computer, use the steps listed in today’s article to write a draft of your rule. As you strive to live it, you may find that it needs adjusting. You may even wish to get feedback on your rule. Holly Pierlot showed hers to her spiritual director, who reviewed it, and approved of it. It is helpful to have wise, objective guidance for the goals we set for ourselves!

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